CHRIS CONIDIS Writer, Satirist, Animator, Social Critic, Author, & Performer

    Chris Conidis  Writer, Satirist, Animator, Social Critic, Author, & Performer  PROGRESS CITY..... Progress City Social Status: Climb the Ladder in Style™ “Because Nothing Says Success Like a Higher Balcony “ The Platinum Heights: Where the 1% Reigns Supreme (And the View is Expensive) The highest tier in Progress City’s StatusFlow™ pyramid, The Platinum Heights , is reserved for our “Society Architects,” those visionaries who sit in windowed penthouses above the clouds, deciding your future commute. Access to The Heights is invitation-only, naturally, and if you’re wondering how to get invited… let’s just say it’s easier if you already own a few multinational corporations or have a building named after you. Platinum Heights residents enjoy perks like Exclusive Elevator Access™ to avoid “everyday conversations,” High-Speed Life Counseling (so they’ll never need to talk to therapists like regular folks), and, of course, Private Greenery™ —the ...

  Chris Conidis : Progress City™ Healthcare: Your Health is Our Business (Literally!)” Welcome to Progress City™ Healthcare , where the future of medicine is here, and it’s as expensive as you feared! We’ve innovated a world where your well-being isn’t just a priority—it’s a profit . Because in Progress City™, your health is no longer a basic human right, it’s a premium service, brought to you by our corporate partners and a payment plan that makes mortgages look like a steal. Let’s take a tour of our world-class healthcare system, where “healing” means “profits,” and every cough, sneeze, and ailment is just another opportunity to cash in!r a basic human right, it’s a premium service, brought to you by our corporate partners and a payment plan that makes mortgages look like a steal. Let’s take a tour of our world-class healthcare system, where “healing” means “profits,” and every cough, sneeze, and ailment is just another opportunity to cash in! 1. The Doctor W...

  A Message from the Future: Please Ignore Everything We Did Chris Conidis Greetings from the year 2124! We’re beaming this message back to you with one simple request: whatever you’re doing right now —  stop . Seriously. We’ve been in the future for about 100 years now, and let me tell you, it’s a disaster. We’ve had some time to reflect on the choices we made (well, the choices you’re  about to make ), and we’re here to offer a warning:  don’t do it. You know how every generation believes they’re on the brink of a golden age, with promises of limitless technology, prosperity, and  finally  getting flying cars? Well, spoiler alert: we  didn’t  get flying cars. We got hover-scooters that crash into each other and block traffic worse than your grandma’s Buick in rush hour. It turns out, the future is less “Jetsons” and more “Black Mirror bloopers,” where everything that could go wrong does, but with better Wi-Fi. Warning #1: Don’t Trust the Smart T...